Trusted friend or permission to misbehave?

May 16, 2012 Leave a comment

Let’s face it we all have bad days at work.  You know – when you get home and need to complain about someone or something that happened that day.  You need to vent to process; you need to share the details, your reactions, and the emotions that go along with the episode.  I cannot tell a lie.  I have done it.

Given the typical challenges of hierarchy, when you are a leader in an organization it is even more difficult to find a confidante with whom it is appropriate to have a discussion about a challenging colleague or a project that has ‘gone south’.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had that ‘trusted friend’ at work so we could vent at work instead?  Or would it?

I have another word for that can sometimes be used for ‘trusted friend’ — I call it ‘permission to misbehave’.   Stop and think about it — does your conversation maintain a professional tone and purpose?  Or, do you have to whisper or close the door so you can really get into it?

Of course there is a fine line between confidential business-focused discussion and destructive gossip.  Use these questions to determine whether or not your conversation will have a constructive outcome or will simply contribute to the mess.

  • Is your discussion focused on the facts of the matter or is it focused on the personalities involved?
  • Is your discussion focused on the impact to the team, the project, or the company or is it focused on how you have been personally wronged?
  • Is your discussion focused on what you will do to address the situation or is it focused on identifying the ‘culprit’ and labeling them and their performance?

Be careful how you take advantage of a trusted friend at work, whether you were friends before you started working together or have become trusted friends since working together, make sure your conversations at work are focused on the work, how it is going, and how you might have an impact on improving a situation that needs adjustment.  Don’t’ get caught in the habit if ‘venting’ about people, complaining about situations, or bashing the company.  Those conversations are a reflection of you as a leader.

There are certainly times that you must discuss a specific person and his or her strengths, weaknesses, and fit within the organization.  There are also times when you have to dig into why a project went wrong and who/what/why it went wrong.  I am not talking about these types of critical confidential conversations.

As a leader, always imagine the details of your conversation becoming available in a public forum.  Will your words and tone reflect a gossip or a complainer?  Or, will your words reflect a leader who is focused on moving a person, the team, or the company forward?

 

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Great advice from “beyonddiet.com”

May 7, 2012 Leave a comment

I got this text in a forwarded email that originated with ‘beyonddiet.com’. I went to the website trying to find the original text so I could share it properly, but could not find the text. I couldn’t. So, I apologize for likely breaking rules of online publication.

The advice below is NOT mine, but comes from Isabel De Los Rios from beyond diet.com. It is great advice to anyone trying to form a new habit.

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I was remembering back several years ago when I used to do one on one client coaching, I had a great call with a client. It was actually her last coaching call with me and I wanted to be sure that I left her with all the “tools” she needed to maintain and continue her incredible weight loss success.

Me: “What do you think will be the most difficult challenge for you moving forward?”
I was expecting an answer like traveling, going out to dinner, maybe even cravings, but that was not the case.

Client: “Isabel, the hardest thing for me is the mental part of losing weight. I see how successful I’ve been and I clearly see the results in the mirror, but I still find myself doing a lot of negative self talk. It’s almost like I know I’m going to blow it, just like I have so many other times.”

WOW – Talk about honesty. And I know she is not the only person who is going through the same thing. I can remember years ago when I first lost all of my weight, I would get compliments from people and I would always think to myself, “Yeah, whatever, let’s see how long this really lasts.”

But there is a reason why the FIRST chapter in your Program Manual is about MENTAL PREPARATION because this is an ESSENTIAL first step. It doesn’t matter how good the information is, how easy I have made it for you, or how delicious the food is. If you’re going to talk yourself out of your own success all day, then you might as well just throw in the towel now (in this case, walk away from the computer and stop reading).

So how exactly did I overcome this common hurdle? Here are some strategies I use even today in my life that keep me focused, motivated and always working towards my goal.

1. I start each and every morning with a gratitude list. This is non-negotiable. It takes me no more than 3 minutes and it changes my spirits for the entire day. How’s setting aside 3-5 minutes for a joyous rest of the day? Worth it, right? I write “I am so grateful for…” and then just write, write and write. For me that list always includes my family, my health and my work. I wouldn’t start any day without this.

2. I go to sleep each night playing my personal mind movie in my head as I go to sleep. What is a personal mind movie? Basically, it’s you imagining yourself looking, feeling and doing whatever it is you would do if you achieved your health and weight loss goals. Imagine yourself in a particular outfit, at a party getting compliments, participating in some awesome athletic event. Athletes have actually used this strategy for decades with much success. This approach helps me to fall asleep happy and is much better than lying there thinking about all the things I have to do the next day or harping on stressful events. I sleep so much better at night like this.

3. Only talk to yourself as you would a small child (This one is my favorite and given to me by my best friend Jackie). Would you tell your children all day long that they were never going to achieve their goals, that they should stop trying or that they shouldn’t even try in the first place? No, I sure hope you wouldn’t. You would encourage them, give them hope, and tell them that anything is possible with hard work. Treat yourself, in your own mind, the way you would want to speak to your children or better yet, the way you would want others to speak to your children or speak to you.

Keep your eyes on the prize because the prize of the body you are dreaming about is within your reach. If I can do it, so can YOU. Tell yourself how awesome you are and how this time you are changing your life and there is no looking back.

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The Golden Rule in Leadership… NOT

May 1, 2012 1 Comment

Have you ever heard the expression ‘if you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail’?  I love to use this expression when it comes to management styles.  A hard-driving style can be very, very effective… if it is used appropriately and in a situation that calls for that style and approach.  Your “coaching” style (see Goleman, “Leadership that Gets Results”) can be very, very effective… if it is used appropriately and within a situation that calls for that style and approach.  One size does not fit all.  And, the best leaders know this and are able to adapt their style to the situation, the person, and the person-situation combination.  There are many instruments you can use to get a view of your style as a leader.  We use the DISC as one tool to identify a leadership style.  Then, we focus on how to adapt your style to increase your effectiveness as a leader.

Leaders who adapt their style:

  • identify individual styles
  • acknowledge differences
  • tailor their approach

Identify individual styles:  The most effective leaders have a high level of self-awareness.  You know your style.  You know your tendencies in specific situations.  You know the way you like to work, your strengths, and when your strengths become your weaknesses.  Great leaders also have a high level of awareness of others.  You know the styles and preferences of those around you and you pay attention to cues that help you determine how others are going to respond.  Use any model you choose, but know well your tendencies and how your style interacts with other styles.  It is how you maximize impact.

Acknowledge differences:  It is critical that you acknowledge differences, accepting the fact that there are many styles that are effective in different situations.  Only the most arrogant (and disillusioned) believe their style is best all the time.  The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”… this commonly held belief might be useful in social situations, but in leadership not so much!  You must know others around you and the biggest mistake you can make is to assume they all want to be rewarded, recognized, and motivated just like you do!  Be aware of your style and how it complements and conflicts with other styles.  Know it and plan for it.

Tailor their approach:  If you know your style, know the style of those around you, and can honestly acknowledge different styles you are in a great position to tailor your approach to maximize effectiveness.  It is important to know how others are motivated and tailor your approach to inspiring and motivating the desired behavior.  You may be a driver who only needs a carrot on the other side of the wall.  However, your direct report may need coaxing, motivation that includes the ‘why?’ or specs on how high the wall is before they are willing to scale the wall with you.  The more tools you have in your leadership toolkit, the more likely you are to be effective in motivating many.

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Hold People Accountable

April 28, 2012 Leave a comment

In our last webinar we focused on setting the priorities and planning for accomplishment.  In this 3rd webinar we focus on good practices for holding people accountable.  We read the HBR article “Who’s Got the Monkey?” by William Onchen, Jr., and Donald Wass.  The concept in the article was the backdrop for holding people accountable for the right things while avoiding taking all of the accountability on yourself. It is a great read.  Research completed by Partner in Leadership reported that 80% of leaders feel less than adequate when asked to evaluate their success in this area.  Clearly, it is a great place to focus.

Our three premise statements for a leader who effectively holds people accountable are:

  1. Align expectations
  2. Consistently follow-up
  3. Create ownership
Align expectations:  Here is the best news about aligning expectations — if you are outrageously clear about the expectations, and the employee understands, and you agree upon checkpoints… holding people accountable becomes the simplest part of the equation!  If your employee knows what you are looking for and when you are going to look, then your task is simply to ask on-time!  No arguments.  No confusion.  Here is the bad news about aligning expectations — not many leaders are strong in this area.  Three things you can do to improve your skills in this area.  First, before you set the expectations with your employees consider the situation from their perspective.  Consider what’s in it for them, what will be easy, what will be difficult.  Think it through before you begin then conversation.  Second, have the conversation.  Notice I did not say “tell them the expectations”.  I said have the conversation; a two-way dialogue.  Involve the employee in the setting of clear expectations.  Finally, restate.  It seems so simple, but it happens so infrequently.  After you have had your conversation and believe you have reached agreement, simply restate or better yet have the employee restate.  If you follow these simple steps, you can guarantee alignment.
Consistently follow-up:  Do you have routines that help you follow-up consistently?  Do you use the same routines for all employees, both high-performing and struggling?  There is no magic bullet here.  To be effective at follow-up you need to establish routines or cues for  yourself to follow-up at designated times — use your calendar, use a follow-up email, ask your employee to follow-up (that means you probably have to set a calendar reminder to remember that you asked your employee to follow-up!).  Whatever you do, be consistent.  And, think about the employee — a struggling employee may need to follow-up after baby steps while the high-performer can clearly be monitored differently.
Create ownership:  In the book, “The Oz Principle” (Connors, Hickman, and Smith) talk about the importance of the ‘line’ when it comes to accountability.  Below the line there are statements that clearly reflect a lack of accountability — “I don’t remember you asking me that”, “I could have accomplished it but…”, “It is really not my fault.”  Recognize these statements as ‘below the line’, lacking accountability and address directly.  You may have to go back to the first step of Align Expectations.  ”Above the line” statements reflect clear accountability on the employee’s part.  Statements such as ‘I have a recommendation’, “Let me tell you how we are going to get this done.”  It is much easier to be successful with employees who stay ‘above the line’.  Follow these steps and make it much more likely!

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Plan priorities

April 21, 2012 2 Comments

To be a successful leader you  obviously must accomplish things, deliver on expected results, and consistently build on past successes.  There are so many things to do — your workday can be consumed by the ‘tyranny of the urgent’ if we are not careful.  You can turn around and realize the day or week is over and you don’t have a lot of measurable accomplishments to claim.  Are you any closer to your goals?  You know you worked hard, but what do you have to show for it?

In this 2nd of our 12 webinar series we focused on planning priorities.  Name the priorities, communicate them, and then create a solid plan for how you and your team will accomplish.  The key is to name the priorities and then stick to them.  Easier said than done.

Our three key premise statements for leaders who plan priorities are:

  1. Set clear stretch goals
  2. Focus on the big rocks
  3. Do, delegate, or dump

Set clear stretch goals:  Read the article “Demand Better Results – And Get Them” by Robert H. Schaffer and you will get a great view of how most managers do NOT stretch team members enough.  The article emphasizes that a manager typically gets what he or she asks for — it’s the Hawthorne Effect of leadership!  But, it is not enough to set the stretch goals.  After you have set the goals you must communicate effectively and with great clarity.  The minimum expectations need to be clear, specific, and measurable.  Then, you must monitor progress, but give clear ownership to a team member.  It is only possible to monitor the project effectively if you have first worked through a plan of steps to take, how progress will be measured, and then assign one person ownership.  Set clear stretch goals first.  Then, your job is to keep the team and yourself focused on those goals.

Focus on the big rocks:  We borrowed a classic concept from Steven Covey here — focus on the big rocks.  There are fabulous, simple videos available on You Tube that explain the concept.  Basically, everyone has 24-hours in a day and we each have a few important things to do each day and then a whole bunch of other things that we could do.  We all fill every 24-hour time period somehow, right?  If you simply fill your day with activities, you end the day with a full day, but did you accomplish what you needed to accomplish?  Covey uses the metaphor of a jar with sand and big rocks.  Your goal is to fill your jar, but you must include all of the big rocks (priorities) and all of the sand (the other ‘stuff’ of your day).  If you try to put all of the ‘sand’ in first, it is not likely that you will be able to fit-in all of the big rocks (your priorities).  Instead, put your ‘big rocks’ in first.  Then, the sand can fill in all around the big rocks.  It is the same thing with your day, your week, and your year.  We came up with a saying to help us remember how to accomplish the ‘big rocks’ first each day — “Your big rocks require time blocks!”

Do, Delegate, or Dump:  You have set  your clear stretch goals and you have your team focused on the big rocks.  You know what the steps are to achieving the most important things each day.  But, do YOU have time to DO it all?  Clearly not.  DO:  Ask yourself — what is on our list of priorities that I, and only I, must do?  DELEGATE:  What things on the priority list are something that I can delegate to someone on the team?  Is there someone who is already capable of doing a task?  Or, is there someone on the team who could be taught to complete one of the tasks?  Sure, it takes more time upfront, but you are developing someone on your team and you are freeing time for you priorities.  DUMP:  Finally, are there tasks on the list that really don’t need to be done?  Can you ‘dump’ any of the tasks without significant pain to your priorities?  Do, Delegate, or Dump and you have your planned effectively mapped!

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Lead like a leader

April 14, 2012 Leave a comment

“Lead Like a Leader” was the first of our twelve leadership development webinars.  We had participants read the article “Becoming the Boss” by Linda Hill.  The article provides a perspective on the differences in being a successful individual contributor and then getting to that ‘manager’ role.  It is important that new managers understand what is NOT true about their new role.

We shared three premise statements that define the gist of being a leader.

Leaders who lead like leaders:

  1. Ask more than tell
  2. Teach and Trust to Fish
  3. Respect differences

Ask more than tell:  Obviously, the whole idea behind this premise statement is asking questions rather than being ‘the answer man’.  It is a common misconception that being the manager means having all of the answers and playing the parent role with your director reports.  (Think “Mother knows best”.)  On the contrary, the best managers spend much more time asking questions — they ask questions to understand the perspective of others, determine where another person is coming from, and getting the best ideas there are from the collective group.  It is a simple premise statement to understand, but as we all know, very few (and I mean very few) managers are natural listeners!

Teach and trust to fish:  We added a twist to the ‘teach ‘em to fish’ proverb in this premise statement.  We all know that if we take the time to TEACH someone to do something we are eventually freed-up to do more and better things; we have also developed the skills of another.  Everyone wins.  It was important to us that we add the ‘TRUST” after you have taught.  We don’t mean that you don’t monitor or ask about progress, we simply advise that you teach someone how to do something and then give them space enough to perform.  Every manager needs to find the balance of monitor versus micro-manage.

Respect differences:  This is another no-brainer that we took to a different level.  Of course you respect the differences in your work group.  We spend considerable time talking about the advantages and disadvantages of hiring all ‘mini-me’ employees.  Most managers are naturally inclined to hire people just like them — you understand where they are coming from, you understand what buttons to push, and you appreciate in them what you like in yourself.  However, consider the lost diversity of thought.  Consider the good ideas that will never occur to someone with a perspective that is similar to yours.  Consider the tasks that will never get done because all of you dislike the same tasks.  It takes all kinds.  The best managers know that and put up with the pain of having to get to know someone who is different!

Filed under coaching, Leadership, Leadership Development, Management development, Uncategorized Tagged with , , , ,

Leaders in Motion

April 14, 2012 Leave a comment

There is plenty of research that proves the quantifiable impact of an engaged workforce.  Companies with an engaged workforce have higher levels of productivity, growth, and profit.  If you can have a positive impact on the engagement levels of your own workforce, you can bet that will have a positive impact on your financial results.   In our Leaders in Motion series we make the assumption that if we equip our managers with skills that help them manage more effectively this, in turn, will also improve the effectiveness of their direct reports.  (Not too much of a leap, I know.)  That’s why we are doing this — equipped, engaged, and effective managers make for equipped, engaged, and effective employees, which leads to results.  It’s that simple.

At Randstad we have built a strong management development program called “Leaders in Motion” that focuses on the practical, tactical skills needed by entry-level managers.  Of course, these skills apply to all levels of management.  No one has ever ‘arrived’ when it comes to a full set of management tools.

In each of twelve sessions in our series we have identified three premise statements.  The premise statements are memorable, succinct lines that provide the gist of the skill.  When you read each of the premise statements it is not likely that you will say ‘I never thought of that’.  Our primary goal with the premise statements was to organize much common knowledge about management and leadership.  Another goal for those premise statements was to establish a leadership vocabulary for our company.  We are already seeing signs of common terminology being used throughout the organization.  It is exciting so far.

Each session has an associated HBR article that we require as pre-work for our sessions.  The purpose of the HBR article is to provide a new perspective for our managers, a new mindset from which to consider their own management style.  We begin each session with a typical scenario that shows what ‘not to do’ and a group discussion of the mindset of a successful manager and . 

Over the next few weeks I am going to share the premise statements we have for our series we call “Leaders in Motion”.  I hope the premise statements are valuable mind-joggers for you.

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The elbow turns are critical to prepare a new leader

April 6, 2012 Leave a comment

I am facilitating a group of first level managers through a great series of topics that deal specifically with the fundamentals of management — really focused on new mindsets, management behaviors and people skills to add to your arsenal as a leader of individuals and teams.

In one of our recent sessions we discussed the typical transition from individual contributor to manager that is characterized by ‘doing more of what you did well as a successful individual contributor, only working faster and harder, doing more of what got you here’.  You can imagine the rich conversation and even the sighs of relief when the participants realized they were not alone.  They all, to some extent, relied heavily on what ‘got them here’ to be successful as a manager.

On one hand the discussion made me realize how valuable our 6-month series will be for these managers who are quite successful in their own right, but will clearly benefit from some new mindsets that will generate a different perspective, some new behaviors, and a bolstered management toolkit.

Yesterday, though, a thought came to my mind.  No wonder these new managers are leaning on exactly what got them to the management position in the first place!  No wonder they are exhausted from doing more, faster, harder, and with higher expectations!  I say ‘no wonder’ because I ask myself — how have we prepared them for the transition?  We focus on operational and financial skills and knowledge.   Of course those are critical.  However, those skills are necessary, but not sufficient.  We need to pay much stricter attention to the exact behaviors these new managers need that they did not need to be a successful leader of others.

I first considered this concept while reading “The Leadership Pipeline” (Charan, Dotter, Noel).  This book discusses the concept at length.  I have used the idea throughout our company and refer to these ‘transition’ skills as ‘the elbow in the turn’.  In other words, what skills are required as a manager that were irrelevant to a successful individual contributor?  After you have identified the skills, dig deeper to understand the mindsets that underlie these skills and behaviors.  The easiest example for a new leader is the difference between getting results by driving your own behavior toward target versus as a manager having to equip, enable, and energize others toward their own goals.  It is critical — a leader cannot carry the entire team on their back for long!  You get the idea.

Careful consideration of these ‘elbow turns’ is so important for every change in management level.

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Make your goals Motivating, Measurable, and Manageable!

April 3, 2012 Leave a comment

As I work with leaders to change habits or behaviors, I always drive for actionable goal commitments.  I want to take immediate advantage of any new insight and any emotional commitment to trying something new.  So, I try to drive the close of every conversation into a clear, action step.  The 3 M’s make it easy to remember and provide a clear approach to goal-setting.  Make sure your goals are Motivating, Measurable, and Manageable!

Motivating = Desirable + Stretch

Sometimes in coaching there are things that others may point to for change (maybe in a 360-survey) that the ‘coachee’ is not ready to accept or agree to.  How successful do you think the change effort will be when the said ‘change-er’ is not interested?  Not so much.  The goal that is set must be desirable to the person setting the goal — they must see the value in the change that outweighs the cost of changing.  Instead, let’s encourage goal-setting around something for which the person is excited to change.  Once you have a goal that is desirable, it is also important that the goal is enough of a stretch that there is value in completing.  Who wants to check off a simple ‘yes, I did this’ when it does not require much effort?  Effective folks want a goal that is challenging, that stretches their personal commitment.  So, for the goal to be motivation it must be both desirable and stretch.

Measurable  = Specific + Quantifiable

To make a goal specific and measurable can be as simple as defining what is meant by ‘more often’ or ‘less often’.  There has to be a measure of success that is clearly observable by the person making the change and/or the target of the change (e.g., direct reports).  Of course, measurable to some of us is only exciting if we can apply a mathematical pre-post formula.  But, there are other ways to make a goal measurable, but being specific about the ‘pre and post’ behavior or scenario and then defining the frequency.

Manageable = Reasonable + Chunked

There are people who can set wild, hairy, crazy goals that seem so far out of reach and somehow find a way to achieve them. Maybe all of us have that in us every once in awhile.  However, I would bet on the success rate of a manageable goal on a more frequent basis.  Remember, the goal still has to have some ‘stretch’ to it (see first point), but the measure of reasonableness is also important.  The concept of chunked is related to the idea of setting big goals and then planning ‘small wins’ along the way.  Take that big, hairy goal and break it down into smaller projects, tasks, or steps in order to celebrate progress along the way.

I have seen many models for goal-setting, but like the 3M’s for their simplicity, succinctness, and sell-ability with coaches.  I feel a 3S model coming on next!

Filed under Change Management, coaching, Leadership Development, Performance Improvement Tagged with

As sugar is the enemy of the American diet…

March 2, 2012 Leave a comment

As sugar is the enemy of the American diet (and I believe it is at least one of the top 3), talking just might be the biggest enemy of insight.

How much time on your calendar today was blocked for ‘thinking’?  Thinking about a project, a problem, an opportunity, or nothing.  On the other hand, much time on your calendar today was blocked for talking with someone or many someones?  And, during that conversation or on that coveted conference call how much silence was there at any given point?  My guess is precious little… we are simply not committed to allowing silence be a planned part of our day.  Our level of activity and over-scheduled calendars is epidemic.  It is rare that you find someone who is religious about quiet time during the work day.

Consider your totally booked day and then stop for one minute and think… how many brand-new ideas were generated today, by you or others, as you talked?  I mean genuinely new, innovative thoughts?  How many “aha moments” did you have?

Insights require reflection, silence, breaks from the talking, and often even breaks from direct and active (aka hard) thinking.  I recently challenged a group of managers to spend a few hours at a coffee shop of their choice this weekend to simply ‘think about their direct reports’… consider each person, individually; make notes about what they knew about the person — strengths, triggers, learning style preferences… just think about their people.  (I even bought them gift cards to encourage the activity.)

I don’t know how many of those managers took me up on the idea.  Will you?  Try it — block time just to think.  You’ll be amazed at how much you actually ‘accomplish’!

Filed under brain-based coaching, coaching, Insight, Intuition, Leadership, Reflection Tagged with , ,

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